Sunday, June 9, 2013

Recipe Review: Pumpkin Pancakes from Practical Paleo

Before I tell you about these pumpkin pancakes (you can skip to the review after the jump, if you want)... can I just say that I hate Walmart? I mean, like, down to my toes. I'd be more descriptive, but I'd probably be reported as a psychopath and I (literally) can't afford to spend time in a padded room - however much it's needed. Siobhan knows more than anyone that I'm a ticking time bomb when it comes to Walmart.

Two days ago, I had my annual (yes, this happens yearly) freak out on a customer service member there. And let me tell you, these ladies were rude. So guess what? I was rude back. You reap what you sow.

On May 17th, I bought a scale. My boyfriend moved out/left me/got kicked out (complicated) and wanted his scale back. With my new zeal for getting healthy, I wanted to freakin' weigh myself. I bought a cheap scale ($19.88) and went home excited to see some low numbers.  When I opened the package, there was someone else's used, dirty, grimy, gross scale in there. It had hair on it. Like... pubic hair. Stuck. To. It. Someone returned their old scale and Walmart didn't check the box. 

I went in to return it three weeks later. Why so late, you ask. Well, I work nights. By the time I get off of work it's midnight and customer service is closed. I've been working weekends to make ends meet. Duh. I looked up their return policy - because it wasn't on the receipt. Here's what you find:

Generally, we accept returns within 90 days after purchase. There are a few exceptions, including, but not limited to, these examples, to the 90-day rule:
  • Computers, camcorders, digital cameras, digital music players, e-tablets, e-readers, portable video players, GPS units, video game hardware, pre-paid cell phones, and post-paid cell phones must be returned within 15 days with a receipt.

So yeah. 90 days. 21 is less than 90. Simple maffs. I open the box and show the woman (hereby known as CSA - customer service associate).  Our conversation goes like this:

Me (very friendly because I respect customer service since I've worked it): So I bought this scale, opened it up and it appears someone else may have returned their bathroom scale. Can I please have a refund?
CSA: When did you buy this?
Me: May 17th.
CSA: We can't accept this as a return.
Me (starting to be less friendly): Okay...why? I've had really bad experiences here and I don't want to give your company any more money.
CSA: Hey, *insert name of other CSA here*. This lady is trying to return an old scale. Can we do an exchange?
CSA2: Yeah, but only an exchange.
Me: I don't want an exchange. I'll take store credit, but not an exchange.
CSA: We'll only do an exchange, it's been 3 weeks.
Me: Your return policy says 90 days.
CSA: This isn't the same scale.
Me (really unfriendly now): Yes, because you didn't check the scale when someone returned it the first time.
CSA (really snarky at this point): It's not the same model.
Me (outraged and about to spill tears of fury - yeah I'm an angry cryer): ARE YOU SAYING I AM RETURNING MY GROSS SCALE?! Because I am NOT that person!
CSA: No, I'm not saying that... let me call a manager.
*calls manager, is told the manager will come up*
Manager: What's the problem?
CSA: She's trying to return this scale... it's not the same one and it's twenty dollars. (um... do you think I'm trying to score crack? I'm fat and I'm wearing Banana Republic... I'd sell my clothes first)
Manager: Let me check the barcodes (leaves with box)
CSA (completely ignores me in front of her): Next.
I wait for 5-10 minutes while the manager verifies that I am not the cretin that her associates have deemed me; she comes back and tells the woman to give me a refund.
CSA (without acknowledging me): Sign here.
Me (smrking): Okay, do you need an ID?
CSA (drops the money on the counter while rolling her eyes): Uh, no.
As I'm walking away, someone in line says, "Wow, you should really report how you were treated." I looked back at the CSA very meaningfully (ha) and said, "Oh, I will!"

And here I am... reporting it to the blogosphere. Hahahaha. ANYWAY.. sorry for the rant. I tend to think I'm way more interesting than I am. Let's get to this pumpkin pancake recipe.  

Practical Paleo's Pumpkin Pancakes 

A review

Type: Breakfast, pastry
Rating (1-5): 4.5
Difficulty (1-5): 1 - your 2 year old could do it
Cost: $$$$

I first heard about these in North Carolina. I was being obnoxious (as Paleo people tend to be) and comparing notes with a girl I found who had been doing the diet. Have you ever noticed that Paleo people try to out-Paleo each other?  We're discussing her breakfast of pumpkin pancakes (which I hadn't tried) and she's telling me how easy it is. So I say, oh but the cost of coconut flour is so high! She gives me a 'look' that I definitely deserved - and tells me there doesn't need to be any flour.  I mumble and laugh to myself... I've been outdone. Sigh. You win this time, Paleo-elitist. 

Made these when I returned for my third anniversary.  So. Freaking. Good. They taste like pumpkin pie filling. They're crispy on the edges (especially if you cook them in butter) and retain a cakey feel in the middle - which is unusual for a recipe with so much egg.  It's definitely a wet pastry, but in a good way. A very good way. The first time, I only used one tablespoon of coconut flour and it was a little too wet (I don't know how that chick didn't use any), so the next time I used two and they were perfect.  These pumpkin pancakes are extremely filling and are an easy way to introduce your family to Paleo - or even a cheap way to eat dinner for a week (you think I'm kidding... I'm not). 

Tip: Do not use the pumpkin puree that is pumpkin pie ready, there is a ton of sugar in it.  Instead, use pure pumpkin puree. The maple syrup gives it just enough sweetness without overpowering the pumpkin. Besides, all pumpkin pie spice is composed of is cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, ginger and allspice.  Essential ingredients to any Paleo kitchen. 

Need more proof you should make these? Siobhan hates pumpkin and she loves this recipe. 
You have to try these. Just don't buy your ingredients at Walmart, please.


  1. Mary...Thanks for using me as an example for how amazing these are for everyone. And I do mean everyone. ;) MY GROSS SCALE!!! haha

  2. I just got the book Practical Paleo and made these pancakes and thought I did something wrong because they are so wet and uncooked in the middle, but is this how they are supposed to be? I too added a couple tbs flour as the batter was soooo wet and I kept trying to cook them because they weren't getting "done". I even googled it and here I am on your page :) The flavor is great but i'm not sure about the consistency... Thanks!

    1. Anna, I totally get what you mean. I even added MORE coconut flour the next time. But I do like the flavor, and they're always a hit when I make breakfast for friends!